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The New Most Annoying Song In The World

As I was driving with my friend down Las Vegas Blvd, a song came on a certain station. I won’t say which one, but suffice it to say it falls somewhere between 97.4 and 97.6 FM.

Now, it is largely regarded (at least by Dave Barry fans) that Donna Summer’s version of “MacArthur Park” is the most annoying song in the world. But when I heard this song, it made me think… god DAMN this song sucks. I’m not picking on it because it’s rap; there’s a lot of rap out there that I like.

I’m picking on it for lyrics like (and I swear I’m not making this up) the ones found in Lil’ Wayne’s “Mrs. Officer”:

Doin a buck in the latest drop
I got stopped by a lady cop
Ha Ha… she got me thinking I can date a cop
Ha Ha… cause her uniform pants are so tight
She read me my rights
She put me in nah car, she cut off all the lights
She said I had the right to remain silent
Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren

I wish I was joking. But the song, whose chorus largely consists of “Wee Ooh Wee Ooh Wee,
(Like a cop car)
” is not only the new theme song for misogyny, but is just freakin’ DUMB. I also submit into evidence:

I make her wear nothing but handcuffs & heels
And I beat it like a cop
Rodney King baby yeah I beat it like a cop

Remember when cop-killing was the controversial thing in rap?

I don’t think that I can take it, cause it took so long to bake it, and I’ll never have that recipe again.

Oh no.

–Ryan

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Ted McGinley Rears His (Proverbially) Ugly Head

Let’s focus on what’s really important in the world right now.

The Olympics? No, those are over. And might I add, the US Boxing team brought back one single, solitary bronze medal.

The DNC? No, that’s pretty much under control. There will be snark upcoming, but I got nothing right now.

I’m talking about the really important stuff:

Dancing With The Stars released its Season 7 celebrity list! Oh thank god, I’ve been waiting with baited breath!

Tapping their tootsies in Season 7: All My Children‘s Susan Lucci, reality TV star Kim Kardashian, singer Toni Braxton, N*Sync’s Lance Bass, Oscar winner Cloris Leachman, Super Bowl ring bearer Warren Sapp, chef Rocco DiSpirito, Hannah Montana‘s Cody Linley, beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor, comedian Jeffrey Ross, track gold medalist Maurice Green, and actor Ted McGinley.

First thoughts:

— The early favorite should be Lance Bass and Toni Braxton, considering they’ve had to dance before in some form or another.

— Cloris Leachman? I’m sorry, was Queen Elizabeth II unavailable?

— Ted McGinley. This is bad. You do realize that every show in the 80s that Ted McGinley joined the cast of, died in about a few seasons? Does he still have that death touch?

I’m fearing for the life of the show.

–Ryan

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