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What Would Jesus Do??

In one of the Star Trek (OS) episodes the Enterprise is taken over by a group of aliens who have a device that turns humans in to blocks of minerals at the touch of a button.  Too bad these Cinder-rays are not readily available at Target or Costco as a defense against the so called Christian reactionaries who write such hateful garbage about the Obamas.  Here is the latest outrage:


These clowns are a certain argument that there is no intelligent design and that God is dead, asleep or out to lunch.  Maybe he’s just too busy trying to straighten out the banking mess caused by the Republican Wall Street greedheads to pay attention to cackling Ravens much less the fall of sparrows.  Therefore, since God is busy, I would like to be Jesus for a day and take my aforementioned Cinder-ray and put it to good use.  I would make a long list,  and as these fat oafish, bloviating,  windgbags huffed and puffed and regurgitated their bile, I would in my loudest God like voice say something like:  O’Reilly you just piss me off.  Then I would turn him into a salt block.  I would wait until Oxycontin’s Own Ma Limbaugh was in the middle of one of his rants and say in the loud God voice:  Limbaugh you are no longer a Big Fat Idiot.  You are a small skinny hexahedron.  Then I would fry his dead dumb ass.  The list would be long and satisfying:   Hannity, Tammy Bruce, Michael Savage, Ann Coulter and the rest of that crowd of Hate Radio and Hate Television mouthpieces.  They all roundly deserve to be turned into salt blocks.


The neat thing about the Cinder-ray was that it could restore the salt blocks.  So after these morons served an adequate time out, I would return them to their former state.  Just kidding! 


Yeah, yeah, I know all that crap about forgiveness and turning the other cheek but that wears painfully thin after a time.  And maybe God forgives these peckerwoods for their venomous attacks but Lyle Lovette nailed it for most of us:  “God does but I don’t and God will but I won’t and that the difference between God and me.”


Don Singleton

April 8 2009     



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The Braying of Asses

“You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion. Dogs do not ritually urinate in the hope of persuading heaven to do the same and send down rain. Asses do not bray a liturgy to cloudless skies. Nor do cats attempt, by abstinence from cat’s meat, to wheedle the feline spirits into benevolence. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.” Aldous Huxley

For those who are nervous about the reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine I offer you a real free speech issue. State Senator Andy Harris has now twice introduced legislation in the Maryland Assembly to de fund the University of Maryland should it allow students at the main campus to show a pornographic film.

Oh horror! College students, who copulate like rabbits on Viagra, might actually see other adults engaging in sex acts on the big screen. Armageddon cannot be a step behind. Let’s all gather at the Kool Aid cooler as we flag down the Hale Bopp Comet.

The UM administration being made up of… ummm, administrators and other assorted chickenshits… caved. UM students, on the other hand, have reacted by thumbing their collective noses at this reactionary jackass.

Those of us who have made a habit of observing the political scene in this country for forty or fifty years are likely to draw the conclusion that Andy Harris Is merely continuing his campaign for the First Congressional District seat now held by Frank Kratovil. The embarrassment of this episode, of course, is that the Maryland Assembly, also apparently composed of assorted dunderheads, didn’t smack it down in a very public way when it was proposed. I guess there is still enough political fear of reactionary fundamentalist whackos to prevent an intelligent response to this kind of tomfoolery.

Here is a little help for the Assembly. Any such law, were it to pass, is patently unconstitutional. Broadly barring speech of any kind on a campus or a particular locale won’t pass muster. As a member of a student body which sued the state legislature in North Carolina over a similar stupid law, I’ll be happy to send you the citation from the Supreme Court decision.

For voters who can vote in Harris’s State Senate district, the response to this embarrassment should be to work hard to see that he never darkens the Assembly door again. And if he does indeed run again for the First District Congressional seat, those of us who live in the First District and who want the government out of our bedrooms, out of our pocketbooks and out of our lives should work hard to see that he sinks like a stone.

Never Vote for an incumbent
Don Singleton, May 7, 2009

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Hate Radio Reaches a New Low


The latest in a long line of racial slurs to come out of Tammy Bruce’s pie hole is the assertion that the Obamas are “trash” living in the white house.  This is not her first offense and she has been repeatedly fired for spewing this stuff.  The pertinent questions are:  Why and How does she get back on the air and who is responsible. 


Tammy Bruce clearly has lots of anger that reaches more deeply than her revulsion at living in a homophobic society and supporting a homophobic Republican Party.   Her need to belong is reflective of the deep seated need of many homosexuals (and any body else in this society who is “the other,”– blacks, the poor, the disabled, etc–. I might add) to find some sense of belonging in a hostile society.  It appears that most of these right wing bloviators and demagogues are all somehow different.  They all appear to be psychologically unhinged and remind one of the old saw from college days.  Psychology and Psychiatry are not medicine; they are diseases in search of a cure.  So too the hate mongers are bent or diseased and are searching for some sort of cure by spewing hatred against all those who they view as somehow “different.”  They choose to deride and defame those they view as powerless and defenseless as a means of currying favor with the powerful and so collect their paychecks in the service of truly vile ideologues. 



I believe the conservatism of this crowd of harpies is born of self revulsion and self hate.  Note that none of these people have ever done a day’s honest labor and most,  no doubt,  do not have the practical wisdom to get in out of a shower of shit.  In short these folks are ill equipped to do anything except spew hatred.  For this they are paid by the large corporations who have been allowed to buy up licenses and close off the public airways to intelligent discussion of ideas.


If I were Barack Obama, no half witted mentally deficient blowhard would be allowed access to the public airwaves to spew hatred at my family.  His stewardship should extend to protecting his family and the American people from this kind of radioactive, racial invective.  Those who hold broadcasting licenses would be placed on notice that the day of this sort of garbage is over.  When the FCC was manned by decent folks who represented the American Public,  stations waved goodbye to their licenses when they acted in such an irresponsible manner.  As for the return of the Fairness Doctrine impacting the quality of journalism or freedom of speech, I would merely point out that in the heyday of Edward R. Murrow’s career at CBS the Fairness Doctrine was in full flower and it was Joe McCarthy’s exercise of his right of reply that gave the American public its first full frontal view of this demagogue.


Stations are licensed to operate in the public interest convenience and necessity. The garbage spewed by Tammy Bruce, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, O’Reilly, etc, etc is not in the public interest, not for the public convenience and it damned sure ain’t necessary.  We’ve had thirty years of  right wing cant and see where it has gotten us.  The economy is, along with these piles of dooky, right in the shitter and we are mired in two wars which are clearly unwinnable and which threaten to explode into regional conflicts at any moment, and the government is either so completely corrupt that it cannot act to clean up the financial sector or is completely paralyzed by fear.  Enough already!  The FCC should reinstate the Fairness Doctrine and put a WWF Smack Down two or three dozen of these mewling, puking hate radio and television outfits


Never Vote for an Incumbent

Don Singleton

Monday March 30, 2009        


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Rudeness, Annoyances and Aggravations


I don’t know who first said: “Would you like to super size that?” But if I knew and had the opportunity, I would gladly drop him into a fast food deep fryer to fry until his smarmy ass bubbled and floated.   There is little that is more annoying than perusing a menu, making your choices and then having some one try to switch you to something else.  Further, it is damned rude!   It’s like having a holy-roller show up at your door on Saturday morning when you have a banging hang over, who then tries to sell you Jesus and Armageddon.  It is the public equivalent of the uninvited call during dinner from a boiler room that tries to sell you extended automobile warranties or other garbage.  I am on the national do-not-call list, and if there were a national do-not-ask-me-rude-and-stupid-questions list, I would be the first to sign up. 


Of course the absolute worst for this annoying and really rude practice is the local movie theater.  I was there a couple of nights ago and before I got within hailing distance of the concession counter, the high school munchkin behind the counter started.


Would you like to buy some of our Twizzler candies today?


Now there is absolutely nothing about my physical persona that would lead even the most dimwitted person in the universe to think I might be interested in Twizzler candy—whatever the hell that is.


No thank you I would like to have a small diet coke, a small popcorn and a box of Goobers.

Would you like to make that a huge coke for an extra dollar. 

No. Thank you.

Would you like to make that a bushel basket of popcorn for an extra fifteen dollars

No. Thank you.

Would you like to super duper size your Goobers for an extra fifty dollars?

No. Thank you.

Would you like some nachos or other candies or anything else?


Perhaps aside from having my Goobers super sized, I was surely not interested.  The answer was still no.


And then I said.  Do you know how annoying it is to have to play this game of twenty questions to buy something to munch on?


At that point it dawned on her that because she was so busy trying to switch me to something that I didn’t want, she had failed to collect the money from her last customer.  She turned to find another munchkin not much older than she,  hovering in the background (his name tag says Adm Ass—Administrative Assistant?  Perhaps Admiral Ass) and reported her screw up.  Admiral Ass sends her off to chase down the woman and the conversation starts over.

Admiral Ass says:  Would you like to buy some of our Twizzler candies today?

 Now Admiral Ass has heard the previous conversation and in spite of the fact that I am annoyed and have so stated Admiral Ass continues: 

Would you like to make that a large for an extra dollar.

I Point to my white beard, and I say to Admiral Ass:    Look at this white beard.  Don’t you think that by now I know what I want?

Admiral Ass could clearly not give a damn.  Admiral Ass has his little marching orders and like all good little mindless Nazis, he is going to repeat this litany no matter how badly how much it pisses me off and even if hair lips the Pope.


The question I have is:   At what point did the American public become such a mass of sheeple that we put up with this outrageous behavior?  It is irritating, annoying and when repeated in the space of five minutes damned infuriating.  What happened to customer service?  What happened to Customer satisfaction?


Well happily there is a solution and I want this to spread like a prairie wildfire across this great land. When asked one of these idiotic questions, be prepared with a long list of counter questions.  After all, they started the conversation.  They can hardly object.

When they say:  Would you like to super size that?

You say:  Do you have a hearing impairment?

Do I have a speech impediment?

Did you understand me when I ordered?  Not too much ambient noise?  Not too much distraction?

Then why on earth would you ask me if I wanted something other than what I ordered? At this point they can say, well the manager makes us do this and you can ask for s/he to get the manager and you can run your game on him.  Usually management is so chicken shit the munchkins have been instructed to simply say “It’s Policy.”  That is one of those conversation ending declarations which avows:  policy was handed down from the mount on long rolls of toilette paper written in shorthand with a number 2 pencil. Well, it ain’t so.  This policy was concocted by some weenie sucking frat rat who was told by some dweeb consultant that they might squeeze another nickel out of the public by running this bait switch game.   


Meanwhile, of course, as you hold up the line, everyone behind you is becoming irritated with you—not the sleazy management but you!  Go figure.


However, if enough of us had the cajones to do this, then super sizing will go the way of the crew cut and McCarthyism.  As a nation, we will have many fewer obese people and we will all be a helleva lot happier.  Then, too, if you don’t want to play the twenty questions game, you can simply say you’ve changed my mind.  Or you can just avoid the rudeness and hassle by ordering nothing at all or by Never Going There Again!


Salisbury, Maryland,

Saturday, March 21, 2009 



Never vote for an incumbent.

Don Singleton

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Stop Thief! Huge Bank Robbery In Progress

A bank robbery used to be when a masked bandit walked into a bank and stuck a gun in the teller’s face and demanded money. No more! These days a bank robbery is anytime an unsuspecting citizen walks into a bank and deposits money, puts money into a CD, or requests a credit card from the bank.

The looting of the major banks was hardly an accident. This is a repetition of the S&L scandal of the late eighties which stunned most of us when that bunch of thieves made off with taxpayer money to the tune of 800 Billion dollars. Now this one is likely to cost us trillions with no end in sight. Congress was complicit. We need only look at the campaign contributions funneled to the two sackers in Congress to get the big picture.

The “bonuses” funneled to the AIG thieves has the stench of hush money all over it. Suppose these guys had been fired and suppose there had been the usual race to the court house to sing and suppose the public had found out how badly they were ripped off? John Stewart has suggested that the AIG perps should be pitch forked in the street.

Unfortunately this kind of greed-head mentality has percolated down to all the banks. There are other smaller robberies perpetrated on the public every day. Singly these are what Bertol Brecht called bread crumb sins. Aggregated, they amount to rip-offs costing the public millions.

There is a radio program out of Atlanta called the Clark Howard show. It is the only useful program on the local hate radio station, and Howard is forever railing at the theft and fraud committed by banks against their customers. Two recent encounters with banks, both of which brought my blood to the boil, illustrate this kind of theft. The first was with a large bank with which I have done business for over twenty years. Let’s call it the Muckup and Theft bank. Unfortunately this bank has changed hands twice over the years and each time the level of service collapsed. In the latest go round they imported executives whose purpose, no doubt, was to attempt to steal as much as possible from the customers. The previous manager whom I have known for years is apparently now a teller. I had a modest CD in bank which they rolled over at well under market rates after sending me a letter in which they clearly stated that they would notify me of the new rate before it went into effect. Needless to say they did not notify me, argued that the letter in plain English did not say what it says and refused to allow me to withdraw the money without penalty. My recourse was to find a new bank and I now wouldn’t walk across a parking lot to whizz on Muckup and Theft Bank if it was on fire.

The second incident was with Bunko America. I have had a credit card with them for ten or fifteen years. The card accumulates USAir frequent flyer miles. I recently got notice that my card had been “upgraded.” I am wise enough at this time to know that with the “upgrade” comes reams of fly- speck type designed to screw the consumer. When I got the new cards, I cut them up and called them to decline the “upgrade” and asked if they had a no fee card. I carefully explained that accumulating frequent flyer points on U.S. Air was a bit like shooting oneself in the foot, having spent too many days in airports after flight cancellations, delays and other screw ups. Well, yes, they said they had World Points no fee card and would roll the account over and send me new cards in a week or so. A week or so later, I wanted to use my credit card to purchase some small item on the internet and found that the security code had worn off. I called Bunko America back and explained that I needed the no fee cards. I also had to walk the person through the whole spiel again, which was a bloody waste of time. And when I tried to pin the person down as to when I would receive the cards I got a carload of bullshit and baffle gab. No problem they said. Then one morning shortly after this conversation, Bunko America’s s “World Class Customer Service” called me, and I wasted twenty or thirty minutes on the phone explaining why I had not activated the “upgraded” USAir card, and that I had switched to a no fee card. The bottom line it turned out was that Bunko America was going to insist on charging me for a card I didn’t want and no longer had any use for. I patiently went through the scenario again for Miss vacuous blonde of the month and then for some dickwad, frat-rat, weenie sucking supervisor, neither of whom understood the English language: I am not paying a fee. I do not want the USAir card. Got it? Apparently neither had the brains to get it. They both insisted that because of the terms and conditions of the original card they could and would charge me the as yet undetermined fee.

Aside from the fact that I spent an hour and a half to two hours on the phone screwing around with Denny Dimwit and his cohorts at Bunko America, it is likely that they will lose a loyal and long standing customer, although when I called the Customer Service number on the letter they sent me confirming the changes I requested, the guy I got on the phone was civil and promised me that the change over would go smoothly. We will see if that is the case or if they try to rob me.

I promised Bunko America, who by the way is taking billions of Taxpayer bailout money while it attempts to run these scams and thefts against the public, that if they charged me a card fee I would pursue a fraud complaint against them with the Maryland Attorney General’s office.

Hooray for Clark Howard. The American public has had it with this kind of theft. As for AIG, when John Stewart said we ought to pitch fork them in the street, I think he got it just right.

Don Singleton

Salisbury. Maryland
Tuesday, March 17, 2009

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Oxycontin’s Own Ma Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot (Again)

For a time Rush Limbaugh lost a lot of weight, I guess all that Oxycontin killed his appetite, but if you saw any of his pep talk to the reactionary dark side, you know that he is back to a blubber-assed, bloated, bloviating, jowl flopping, blowhard blimp. He repeated his fatuous wish for President Obama to fail. That is much like a drunk driver who has just caused a ten car pile up hoping that all the victims die so no one will be around to testify against him. These reactionary pin heads have caused the collapse of the economy, and now they hope it dies so no one will be around to blame them. Get a copy of the book: Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot. It is still a great read.
Don Singleton
May 2, 2009

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Obama v. Jindal

     H.L. Mencken famously said nobody ever went broke over- estimating the stupidity of the American Public. But it still baffles me as to why anyone except the super rich would vote for a Republican. I suspect a lot of it is because when I was a young thing the Republicans were made up of respectable people Like Nelson Rockefeller and Tom Dewey and Barry Goldwater, who, although it was clear they favored a government which favored the rich, they weren’t about to try to use the government to steal everything that wasn’t nailed down. All that changed with the election of the military- industrial, corporate mouthpiece, Ronald Reagan, and the clones that followed in his wake.

If, however, there is any doubt that the Republican party is completely, morally, financially and ideologically bankrupt, one only had to watch the extraordinarily fine speech Barack Obama gave this past Tuesday before a joint session of Congress and the muddle headed drivel that followed from Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana.

Obama laid out an ambitions program but he declared in no uncertain terms that the Republicans were responsible for digging the chasm the country finds itself in and that it was going to take a bloody lot of hard work to climb out.

It is a start. He needs to remind the American people, as this recession grows ever deeper, that Republican mismanagement caused the problem. The Republicans have dumped a huge pile of horse manure in America’s back yard, and no amount of digging is going to reveal a pony underneath. Barack Obama has been dealt the task of cleaning out the Augean Stables. He’s a smart guy but I doubt he can figure out how to make a river run through them. It will be a long slow and painful process.

The Republicans on the other hand have put up yet another small time governor who apparently hasn’t a clue. His solution to the mess the Republicans made: Deny they made the mess. So much for personal accountability and oh yeah, tax breaks for the rich, tax breaks for the rich, tax breaks for the rich. Anything else? Yes, government is bad and more tax breaks for the rich! The Republicans clearly want to keep every dime they have stolen. I have never seen pundits so openly contemptuous (that certainly is the bon mot) of a public speaker.

I don’t think the Republicans really care how dumb they look. If you monitor the hate media, it is clear that they are determined to play snake in the grass. They are still beating the same drum incessantly, biding their time and waiting patiently for the American Public to return to its normal state of torpor and stupidity. Barack Obama needs to create his own drumbeat and it needs to be equally incessant. He has the advantage of the truth. He just needs to keep reminding us: the state of the country is not a disaster movie. It is very, very real and Republicans caused it. And we should never, never, let them do it again.

Don Singleton
February, 27, 2009

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